Bed rest

Bed rest.  It sucks.

You would think that it would be awesome to lay around all day.  That it would be great to not have to cook and clean.  To be able to watch endless episodes of Dawson's Creek (now streaming on Netflix) and read.  To sleep whenever you want.  To have babysitters running after your kids.

The reality is that I don't feel well on my medicine, I'm worried about this little boy, I feel a whole range of emotions over this happening, I don't like depending on others for everything, and I don't like not participating in life.

I'm trying so hard to have a positive attitude, but this is HARD.

Things were starting to look up.  A week and half ago my doctor said he thought I had a good chance of going full-term.  A few days ago, that wasn't the case anymore.  We're taking it week by week now and the next step will be to go into the hospital.  I do NOT want that.

In the midst of this I could not be more thankful for my church, my friends, and family who have loved me so well.  It's easy to feel really lonely right now and I haven't really had to ask for much help.  I have a core group of folks who have offered everything I've needed before I've even asked.  SO many people have offered meals and to clean up my house.  I get texts and calls almost every day of someone going to the store and wanting to know if we need anything.  And Greta takes care of the all the rest :)

I'm learning a lot about the practicality of loving and encouraging people well.  That an email, text, or run to the store speaks volumes.  And sneaking chocolate covered pretzels and flowers into a grocery bag (thank you, Annie) can mean a lot.  And pizza being delivered is a blessing because dinner just magically arrives.  That a text asking if I feel any better is a reminder that I'm not forgotten.  And everyone loving my kiddos so well is wonderful.

Sure, we get busy, stuff happens in our own lives.  And we can't be there for EVERYONE.  I won't be able to return these favors for all of my friends like I will want to from now on.  BUT I pray that I won't forget what it is like to need other people.  And I pray that I will take advantage of the little things that can love other people well.

And last, but not least, I surely would have lost my sanity if it weren't for the Husband.  Everything is falling on him now and he's handling it as gracefully as possible.  This hasn't been easy for our family but he is loving all his girls so well.