Hopeful storms

Life has felt crazy lately. I'm working a lot. It's a combination of new responsibilities, difficult situations, exciting work, and some chaos. I'm not upset by this; I know that it's temporary and good at the core of everything. I'm just tired. In every way. I feel like I'm in a tornado and everything is flying around me.

Today I was driving my sister and mom to the airport. The weather was yucky, the kind of rain that makes it hard to see. And the fact that I hate driving the highways here in STL because I can't stand STL drivers is a whole other post. :)

So back in my car. I looked over my shoulder at one point to change lanes, and I noticed Claire. She was completely content, eating cheerios and snuggled under a blanket. I was feeling a little tense due to the weather and roads, and she was perfectly at peace. I couldn't help but think of Jesus in Luke 8:22-25.

I'll let you go read the reference because I'm too tired/lazy to type it out. It is the story of Jesus in the boat with the disciples when the big storm happens. As they are traveling, Jesus falls asleep. As the storm rages, the disciples start freaking out (rightfully so) and wake up Jesus.

What is Jesus' response? He rebukes the wind and waves, the storm stops, and Jesus asks the disciples where their faith is. Of course, the disciples are amazed, questioning who this great man is.

I started thinking about the craziness of life. I know it's not going to get less chaotic. I know things will always be busy, things will change, and adding another kid or two in the future will create new chaos. I think I am even harder on my self because I'm good at walking with people through their own craziness.

And I can't get passed the thoughts of friends and folks that I know going through major life changes, serious illnesses, and life altering events. I know so many people who walk through trauma and awful things with faith that is nothing less than inspiring. And I whine about my day.

And this is where I got stuck today: how do I react? I'm exactly like the disciples, totally freaking out. I question, worry, and obsess. Sure the disciples in the story got upset and scared, but they also went to Jesus.

That's all I've got. My prayer for the week (or year) will be for my response to be to trust. To relax in the midst of chaos. Acknowledge that my emotions are real but trust in the God of the universe. He was in the disciples' storm, He's in mine, and He's in yours. And I'm so thankful.