29 weeks

I feel like a new person today.  Honestly, it's totally weirding me out.  I've been trying to figure it out all day and I'm realizing it's because I've really had no contractions today.  I've felt normal.  My body isn't acting like it has a mind of it's own.

I think this whole situation is confusing.  I'm not sick.  I don't have HELLP syndrome again (Praise Jesus) and there isn't anything WRONG.  I'm just in preterm labor.  WAY too preterm.  (I've been dealing with this since 25 weeks)  My body is trying hard to go into labor and this little boy wants out.

I cannot stop thanking the Lord for my proactive doctor who discovered this in time to stop my labor.  And then for her referring me to a high risk doctor who is seriously doing everything to keep me from fully going into labor- and by doing everything in his power to keep me at home.  He has said a few times over the last couple of weeks that he could very well keep me in the hospital but every little change he makes in my treatment has kept this boy growing.

By the way, our boy is Abraham John Martin.  Feel free to pray for Abe by name. :)

The doctor said on Friday that, realistically, we'll be meeting Abe in the next few weeks.  As aggressive as we're being, we can't be much more especially around the 33 week mark.  Pray that Abe grows and develops.  I'm on a round of steroids now, just to prepare.

In the last few days I've had such encouraging conversations with friends and of read a lot of books that have been so challenging. Some include faith, but all have been biographies and autobiographies.  And about people struggling and surviving- at WAY more of a degree than I am.  In no way does this pregnancy compare to the stories I've read.  These people were fighting for their lives in scary circumstances; I am not.  Thank the Lord.

But I'm fascinated by people's stories.  That's why I love being a counselor/therapist.  And I miss being around people.  And, frankly, I've been isolated.  But these stories that I've been reading have also encouraged me to think about my purpose and appreciate my life.  It's so easy for me to isolate even further and give up.  I can throw a hell of a pity party.

Not being able to do anything, relying on people so much, can make you react in a lot of ways.  I've felt like a failure.  I've been mad.  Now I'm just grateful that this kiddo is still growing, I have time to re-appreciate every day life (which is HARD a lot of days with these little people), and I'm DONE with the pity party.  The reality is that this is a season that will be over quickly- too quickly- and the next challenge will be caring for our sweet boy who will most likely spend some time in the hospital once he's born.

So that's life right now.  I don't want to forget even this little bit of chaos.  Or the fact that I'm actually seeing this as a huge blessing and evidence of the Lord's love and care for me and my family.

Good moments

At the beginning of this whole bed rest thing, I definitely felt better.  The last week or two, not so much.  My doctor upped one of my medications again today because contractions just wouldn't stop.  I thank the Lord that I have two doctors caring for me that are dedicated to trying EVERYTHING before I have to be admitted into the hospital or before they just go ahead and let me deliver this baby.  Tonight I'm feeling better than I have in a few days. (and a little more loopy)

Here are several pictures, from my phone, that I've taken over the last few weeks because I want to remember the good moments during all of this.  And there really are a LOT of good moments. The feeling crappy, feeling sorry for myself parts just some times overshadow the good.

Gosh, I love these girls.  I can't believe we're adding another- and a BOY at that!

Cuddling together while watching TV.  (We did not pose them this way)

 The girls LOVE this table that I bought from a friend.

 Ahhh... the baby pool.  Their favorite activity.  I think we need an upgrade soon.

Claire reading to MJ.  (Again, I found them this way.)

Bed rest

Bed rest.  It sucks.

You would think that it would be awesome to lay around all day.  That it would be great to not have to cook and clean.  To be able to watch endless episodes of Dawson's Creek (now streaming on Netflix) and read.  To sleep whenever you want.  To have babysitters running after your kids.

The reality is that I don't feel well on my medicine, I'm worried about this little boy, I feel a whole range of emotions over this happening, I don't like depending on others for everything, and I don't like not participating in life.

I'm trying so hard to have a positive attitude, but this is HARD.

Things were starting to look up.  A week and half ago my doctor said he thought I had a good chance of going full-term.  A few days ago, that wasn't the case anymore.  We're taking it week by week now and the next step will be to go into the hospital.  I do NOT want that.

In the midst of this I could not be more thankful for my church, my friends, and family who have loved me so well.  It's easy to feel really lonely right now and I haven't really had to ask for much help.  I have a core group of folks who have offered everything I've needed before I've even asked.  SO many people have offered meals and to clean up my house.  I get texts and calls almost every day of someone going to the store and wanting to know if we need anything.  And Greta takes care of the all the rest :)

I'm learning a lot about the practicality of loving and encouraging people well.  That an email, text, or run to the store speaks volumes.  And sneaking chocolate covered pretzels and flowers into a grocery bag (thank you, Annie) can mean a lot.  And pizza being delivered is a blessing because dinner just magically arrives.  That a text asking if I feel any better is a reminder that I'm not forgotten.  And everyone loving my kiddos so well is wonderful.

Sure, we get busy, stuff happens in our own lives.  And we can't be there for EVERYONE.  I won't be able to return these favors for all of my friends like I will want to from now on.  BUT I pray that I won't forget what it is like to need other people.  And I pray that I will take advantage of the little things that can love other people well.

And last, but not least, I surely would have lost my sanity if it weren't for the Husband.  Everything is falling on him now and he's handling it as gracefully as possible.  This hasn't been easy for our family but he is loving all his girls so well.

More Claire-isms

"teeth soap": toothpaste

"alligator": elevator

"the two black cookies with the white in the middle": how she always describes oreos

Randomly said to me tonight, "Mama, I wish you could fly."

Tonight at bedtime: "Mama, tuck in Alice and pray for her." (i.e. imaginary friend)

When she tried on her brand new jellies, "My feet are pink dark pink!!!"

Said to me yesterday, "Will you feel better when the baby comes out of your tummy?"

When asked what to name her brother, her suggestion was, "Boy."

Just in the last week...

In the last week, my sister got married, Claire turned 3, and we found out we're having a BOY.

It was easy to accept and believe that Amy got married. We love Kevin and are happy they got hitched. It seemed like the next step for them, and we were all ready for it.

Claire turning 3 seemed about right, too. Especially since her little attitude and vocabulary are reminiscent of a teenager some days. I kind of love that though. She keeps me on my toes.

But finding out we're having a BOY- yeah, so not believing this still. I was shocked to say the least. And it still feels weird to say, "he" and refer to the girls' little brother. Claire is okay with having a brother and suggested we name him, "Boy." (She's been on a not liking boys kick and has been adamant about wanting another sister. She took it really well!)

I can't wait to start cleaning out the girls' clothes that they've both outgrown and start looking for boy stuff. Our church is having a swap in May and it'll be perfect for this. The nursery has always been gender neutral so I really don't need anything else- I'm grateful for that. Our only big need is a new car. Yes, we're about to enter the world of mini-vans. And my back is so very excited!

Pictures to come of the wedding, Claire's 3rd birthday, and maybe even of baby BOY! (weird)

1st Real Haircut

Claire refuses to wear ANYTHING in her hair. Sometimes I can get her to wear a pony tail when I have one, but that's on a rare occasion. Since Claire is going to be the flower girl in Amy's wedding this weekend, I decided it was time for her first real hair cut to shape it up some.

Claire LOVED it. I mean, that's an understatement. We got there a few minutes early and as we waited, she would randomly yell out, "Haircut!" She was so excited and kept asking if it was her turn. There were only a few people in the room and they thought she was hilarious.

Claire grinned the whole time. She followed Eraka's instructions to look down and turn when she needed. She sat very still and loved watching in the mirror. Everyone commented on how great she was.

Here is the before:

Here is the after:

And MJ waiting:

Claire even let Eraka put a pony tail on top of her head which she refused to take out before bed. She even called me back upstairs around 9pm because she had taken it out and wanted it back in. She is completely enamored with her hair cut experience and has been grinning all night. I may have created a monster. :)

English Lesson by Claire

One of my favorite new Claire-isms is "amn't". Her conjunction for "am not."

You or I would (hopefully) say, "I am not," or "I'm not," or "You aren't."

Claire says, "I amn't," and "You amn't."

Sunshine and flying kites

Pink eye has officially left the building, and thanks to some medicine, I'm feeling like I can function again. Apparently, I'm going to catch everything going around these days. Awesome.

On a happier note, today was a great day! The sun was shining and it was warmer. Church was awesome. (Seriously, you should go look up the sermon and listen to it.) I was so encouraged by the sermon and just from good conversation with friends. Then we went to the park to have lunch and play with more friends. It was beautiful outside and it was so nice to enjoy it.

Claire has noticed people flying kites at the park before. When Jeremy realized it would be warmer and windy this weekend, he went and bought one. Claire asked all weekend to go fly it but we promised after church.

I wish I had a picture of Jeremy walking over to the field with 5 or 6 little girls (ranging from 7 to 3) following behind him. A few of our Dad-friends followed and they flew the kite for a while.

Jeremy and Claire, of course, stayed long after everyone else got bored and moved on to the play ground. I finally had to convince them that MJ was long over-due for a nap. As soon as I got there in time to watch Claire fly it all by herself, a gust of wind took out the kite and snapped it.

No worries. Claire was fine with the promise of a new one and time to come back. I love that she loves to be outside. Now if only her sister would be a little more tolerable outside. We're working on that.

Please note that Claire picked out this kite: pink and purple with fairies. And she is wearing her absolute favorite dress right now.

There's No Place Like Home

We're in the process of having our basement finished which is exciting and a huge blessing. In the midst of this, we also decided to have some major plumbing done. It was going to need to be addressed sooner than later, and why not while the rest of our house is being torn up?

So this week we had to leave and stay some place else. We were fortunate enough to stay at my in-law's house. They have a big house that was empty so it was easy for us to crash there.

However. However. It's just not fun to be away from home. Especially with little ones.

Words cannot express how happy I am to be home. And we were only gone FIVE days. That's it.

(Side note: my morning sickness is back and I've been really sick this week. Read: not good conditions to be away from your own bed.)

I'm thankful for this week because I walked away feeling confident of a few things:

1. The size of our house is perfect. I had started to have house envy. Now I am realizing that it's the perfect amount of room for us and I couldn't take care of anything bigger. Well, I could. I'm just not sure I would want to.

2. We really don't need cable again. I've been wanting it lately (a lot), but I realized this week that all I watched was Food Network and I missed Hulu and Netflix. Not worth the extra money now that I'm so used to not having it. (and I seriously watched a LOT of cooking shows)

3. I always want to have a dog. Man, kids are messy.

4. I cannot live without internet. I got behind in work stuff and I felt disconnected. I'm dependent.

Again, please here me saying that I am so grateful we had somewhere to go, and a really nice place at that, and it WAS only five days. BUT I needed a reality check in order to be thankful for what God has given me ABUNDANTLY.

I think there's a nagging in all our hearts to want MORE. I'm realizing that the stuff I have is not the more I want. It's been good for my priorities and my heart to re-examine what's most important. What do I want to be filled with? What do I want to spend my time doing?

Not that wanting or having a big house is wrong. It's just not what I want. And for some reason I feel like I have to justify that- which I've realized is my own insecurity. Who cares what kind of house I live in? (aside from those living with me)

So things are changing around here. Well, SLOWLY changing as our house is still under construction and my morning sickness has returned. (And I have another bad cold and I'm getting over pink eye in both my eyes) Yes, that's kind of vague. I'm still trying to sort all this out myself and I don't want to send empty promises into the blog world. :)

I want to be filled with less clutter, more time spent reading the Word, more time enjoying my kiddos, more time with other people in my house, more time with people outside of my house, and more time to just BE.

And then I've got about 5 or 6 months until our world gets flipped upside down with the third kiddo.

Sick and prayer

My morning sickness is back with a vengeance. I had about a week where I felt great, then this week I felt really tired and kind of icky. Today, I feel like I did a few weeks ago. I'm frustrated and annoyed. BUT I'm trying not to complain too much because I have a healthy baby and this is temporary. I can handle this right? (I mean, it WILL end, right?!) Really, this is so minor in the grand scheme of things. Who really cares that my house is a mess and I can't keep up with laundry? That's not important right now.

My good friend, Katie, has been in the hospital with her son, Finn, all week. He has a form of epilepsy and when he gets sick, he gets SICK and starts to have a lot of seizures. Please pray that they can get his sickness under control, so then his seizures will get under control, and that they will get to leave the hospital. I visited last night and Finn had improved SO MUCH. He looked great, and I got to watch a little Sports Center with him while Katie got a shower. Overnight, he spiked another fever, and they'll be in at least until Monday. Please pray for Patrick and Katie, Finn, and his little sister Ainsley. (Ainsley has a virus too now!)

Can it be Spring, please?

Baby Pretzels

My girl LOVES this hat.

Tonight Claire asked me if I would like a pretzel. I said, "No, thank you." And she replied back, "No, Mama, put it in your mouth and the baby will catch it!"

Of course, I had to eat it then. And Claire loved every minute of it.

13 weeks (and a few days)

I had another doctor's appointment today. I'm not sure what this kiddo is doing but it always takes a few minutes to find the heartbeat. (It feels like an eternity) The nurse practitioner had to chase he/she around my stomach the last time I was there- it was pretty amusing.

I'm still shocked every time I hear the heartbeat. We're actually going to have THREE kids. Holy crap.

My doctor told me today that she wants me to go on bed rest at 34 weeks. Not modified; doing totally nothing. She wants to try to get this kiddo to go full term. MJ was just a few days shy of what's considered full term, and we were both totally healthy, but it would be nice to go further with the next if I can. And, of course, Claire was early at 34 weeks because I developed HELLP.

How long I'm on bed rest will be determined by whether this kiddo is a boy or a girl. Baby girls are just generally stronger than boys. (We learned this with Claire. Every time someone came in my hospital room when I was 33 weeks and sick, they were so happy that she was a SHE!) So if this one is a girl then I will be able to go back to normal activity at 36 weeks because that's considered "safer". If this baby is a boy then I have to stay on bed rest until the end.

So if you need me in July, I plan to be sitting in a pool while other people play with my kiddos. HA!

How you can tell I'm pregnant...

Other than the fact that I only wear leggings and yoga pants and that my belly looks like I'm at least 20 weeks pregnant. I was not prepared how your body QUICKLY adjusts to a third baby. And thank you, Denise and Cam, for the vote of confidence to wear leggings!

Okay, so how you can really tell...

In my shopping cart tonight at the grocery store, my buggy contained, among other things:

*mini corn dogs

*Chef Boyardee cheese ravioli

*peach rings (Greta, I know you love that)

*sour gummy worms

During all of my pregnancies, I resort back to eating like a 6 year old at some point.

If only I hadn't forgotten koolaid....

And I did buy a lot of fruits and veggies to balance out the terribleness.

Mmmm... yogurt...

Sweet Mary J

My baby girl is killing me these days. (In a really good way.) She's at that age (just over one) where her personality is starting to come through in the greatest ways because she's becoming more independent- and is actually DOING things.

For example, she's starting to walk on her own, up to 7-8 steps at a time now. MJ still, however, walks in circles around our house with the girls' metal shopping cart. She wanders in circles, pretty fast, putting different things in it. And it always seems like the things she chooses are pretty intentional. (tonight it was a piece of chalk, a jacket, and a piece of the girls' foam house)

Claire found these metallic, heart, bead necklaces at Target over the weekend that she just HAD to have. MJ always bee-lines for them and wears ALL of them at once. If she's awake, she's wearing them. The girl apparently likes to accessorize.

MJ also really likes to wear the fake stethoscope around her neck like a real doctor or nurse. It's awesome.

This week she's starting crawling up into my lap to sit down when I'm on the floor. MJ has always been a cuddler but it just melts my heart.

The only two things she says consistently right now is "Dada" and "night-night." I love hearing Claire say "night-night" and then hearing MJ say it back. So fun.

Another random post

Yes, more randomness. This is the way my pregnant brain is working these days. Okay, so that's a lie, it works this way most days.

*Claire has eaten at LEAST two cups of frozen peas today.

*I'm 12 weeks pregnant tomorrow. Praise Jesus that I woke up feeling halfway normal and I have been cleaning ever since.

*MJ loved kiwi at dinner. She loves kiwi, mango, apples, bananas, and pears but won't touch blueberries, strawberries, or grapes.

*I'm craving fruit so I felt a Whole Foods run was necessary today. The girls and I will be eating PB&Js and expensive, delicious fruit for the next few days. I can't stop thinking about the pineapple in my fridge.

*MJ is getting two top teeth right now- both eye teeth. She will look like a vampire in a few days. I can't wait. (seriously. this child is so cute)

*Claire insists on wearing one of three pairs of pjs EVERY NIGHT, and it's an automatic tantrum if they're not clean. (her "flower pjs", her "pink dark pink pjs", and her "heart pjs")

*Claire's favorite color is still "pink dark pink". (or "pdp" as we refer to it around here)

*Did I mention I have been cleaning all day? Goodwill is most likely getting a fat donation later this week.

Pensieve 2/1/12

*How in the world is it February?

*Claire sang the ENTIRE alphabet today for the first time!

*I think I would like to move. Some place with land. And south.

*I can't sleep enough these days. It's annoying.

*MJ is FINALLY getting a top tooth. And it's one of her incisors. She's going to look awesome in a few days.

*MJ can take up to 4 steps at a time.

*As I type this, Claire is reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". It might be the cutest thing ever.

*My clothes are already not fitting because of the bump. Can I pull off cute dresses and leggings?

*Now Claire is chewing on the book she just finished reading. What?

*Now we're going to read it together.

Do-over

This Mommy needs a "do-over".

It's been one of those weeks that hasn't been bad or even really all that stressful; I'm just DONE WITH IT.

So my do-over is tomorrow.

The husband is on his way home, we don't have plans this weekend, we get to go to church, and that's about it.

I ordered an alarm clock for Claire that lights up when it's time to be in bed and when it's daytime. She's good about staying in bed after she falls asleep. My hope is that this will be the miracle that will keep her in her room for a "quiet time"/nap without waking MJ. I'm going to try to be patient and not be devastated if it doesn't work tomorrow. :)

Now it's off to watch the last bit of Backyardigan's before convincing Claire it's time to sleep and then a Valentine's Day wreath has my name all over it.

I lead an exciting life, folks. I know.

The Big Girl Bed

Ugh.

That's how I feel about this dang bed right now.

I REFUSE to let this be the end of nap time. But the truth is, Claire was already starting to phase out napping, and this darn bed isn't helping that.

I probably need to accept the fact that we're transitioning to a new phase of life, without a nap.

And the napping thing isn't the worst of it; it's the not going to sleep at night. Last night she was finally quiet at 11. Yes, 11 PM.

I have been spoiled rotten by really good sleepers so now I'm being a a big, whiny baby.

I'm tired.

And now Claire just yelled, "Mama," from the top of the stairs, waking MJ who is now hysterical..... sigh.

My Chocolate Vampire

My sister says that MJ looks like a mini-Jeremy vampire.

She actually has a whole piece Hershey's Bliss dark chocolate in her mouth.

And, clearly, she could not have been happier about it!

Pensieve 1/25/12

*My appetite is coming back.

*Any energy to clean is not. Our house is gross. I do not care.

*I'm sad that I think Claire's transition to her big girl bed is also the demise of nap time. (I'm going to try the quiet time thing and I'm not giving up hope YET)

*I'm itching to rearrange my house. Grateful that my sister-in-law shares my enjoyment of this and is willing to help since I'm not technically supposed to move anything. (Sorry, Jeremy. Love you!)

*I'm so excited that work on our basement starts SOON.

*My baby bump seems to have grown overnight. (Hello, third child/pregnancy)

*I have a 1000 things to do, and yet, I still waste entirely too much time playing on the internet.

*I have to remember to buy watercolor paints for Claire tomorrow. She used them up and it is, by far, her favorite activity.

*Claire has discovered candy and is now addicted. Great.

*Claire has started singing more than Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Mostly just random words. I love it. She's just like her father.

*MJ would eat all day long if I let her.

*MJ spends 60% of her day walking in circles around our house with her little stroller or toy train.

*Claire and MJ's favorite thing to do is wrestle and play on C's new big girl bed. It's hilarious. Until C throws herself on MJ's head and she cries.

My Robot-daughter

Mama: "Claire, it's time to go night-night."

Claire: "No, I'm a robot! Robot's don't go night-night!"

True. Sort of.

Oh pregnancy

I have wanted to complain all day:

*I'm tired.

*Food sounds disgusting most of the time.

*My back (tailbone) hurts SO BADLY from falling on ice Friday night.

*I'm not sleeping well.

*I want to sleep all day long.

*I just want to eat and feel okay after.

*I want to feel like I'm actually taking care of my kids.

*I want energy.

*I want to feel like going and doing things without making myself.

But I'm not complaining (too much). Well, at least not out loud (all the time).

And I'm convicted. Yes, pregnancy isn't easy for me (is it easy for anyone?) and I might have a right to complain because these symptoms suck. Who really wants to feel hung over for at least 3 months straight? (yes, that's how it feels)

BUT. BUT. I have a growing, healthy baby growing.

I'm blessed.

So I stop in my self-pity and am thankful. Thankful that each time I'm nauseous, I remember that my body is providing for someone else. That when I'm tired, that this baby is growing. (yes, sometimes, most of the time still grumbling) And that God gave us this baby for a reason and at this time.

I'm even more overwhelmed in my conviction because a sweet couple I know is going through something horrendous. Please visit their website and pray for the Anderson's. I cannot stop thinking of them and praying for them.

Life is so fragile.

Sassy crackers

I forgot this little gem from yesterday too.

I think Claire was asking for the umpteenth time if we could go back to Poppy's house. I told her, "No, we couldn't," as we were there that morning and it was nearing dinner time.

Her response while she stood there with her little baggie of goldfish crackers?

"Mama, my crackers say that you can't say No."

Really?

She has started saying this a lot when we say No.

"You can't say No, Mama."

Well, yes, my dear, I can. For your own good.

The 1st Pretend Haircut

**No actual hair was lost in this incident. :)

Tonight Claire and MJ were playing in the sunroom when I heard MJ starting to fuss, the kind of fuss that lets me know Claire is bugging her. I walked in and asked what was going on, and Claire replied, "I'm just pretending to cut MJ's hair!" while MJ was trying to cruise away from her.

Now they WERE play scissors from her doctor's kit so no hair would have been lost. Not loving this game, I said, "Now, Claire, I don't really like this game. We're not going to pretend to cut anyone's hair. Please leave your sister alone."

Claire then said, "No, Mama, it's okay. I just PRETEND."

I, of course, said, "No, ma'am. Please give me the scissors and play another game."

Her response?

"Mama, you go read and I'll be real quiet." (still holding the scissors)

Seriously?!

The whole thing ended with her screaming no and it just got uglier.

I have a feeling we're headed toward the terrible (manipulative) 3's!

Surprise!

Yes, that would be a picture of #3 on the way!

And, yes, this was the best picture of these knuckleheads that I could get. Taking a picture of them together is impossible these days. MJ is just too active.

I'll admit, although this wasn't a surprise for us, I'm still in shock. I've had two ultrasounds so far, one at 6 weeks due to some issues, and then one today at 8 weeks and a few days. Everything looks perfect!!

I'm also sicker than I ever was with my girls. My nausea is way worse and I'm actually getting sick which wasn't so much the case with the other two. And this never-ending cold I've had is NOT helping. I carry around saltines and coke all day. It cracks me up because the girls fight over the crackers- you'd think it was the best treat ever.

Jeremy traveled all week and I've never felt so sick (on top of the girls being sick). It was definitely my most difficult week parenting thus far. Melinda kept me sane by checking on me every day, Jerry (my f-i-l) gave me breaks and allowed me time to sleep, and Greta brought me a coke when I really needed it. Other friends checked in and I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful to have a community around me that I know I can ask for help when I need it.

We'll find out in around 10 weeks if this little one is a boy or girl. We can't wait to meet he/she in August! (Or July if my track record stands for early births!)

MJ's Firsts?

The question mark isn't a mistake. MJ has done a few things this week that I *think* are firsts... but then I also feel like Rachel when she thinks Emma has said her first word over the phone. (Anyone? "She's going to be a scientist!")

*Earlier this week I could have sworn she said, "Night-night" to Claire as I carried her up the stairs. The girls always say that and I love you as they go to bed.

*Last night MJ took a step towards me, purely on accident. She stands very well on her own, and last night she wanted something I was holding. She took a step forward, looked totally shocked, and fell down laughing.

This really isn't a first this week but she's pointing, gesturing, and grunting for things a whole lot more. This morning when I went to her room, she was pointing and babbling about everything in her room very intentionally.

I guess she's making the most of the alone times she has since her sister talks so darn much.

**Additional note: MJ can walk behind her toy stroller and train; just not on her own yet.

Mad Men and Me

The show "Mad Men" might be bad for my health and for my marriage. I've been watching the series and am in the middle of season 2.

I've had two colds so far this winter, and this one is going on a week. When I get a cold, I cough. BADLY. I'm convinced that watching the amount of smoking on Mad Men is not helping it go away. In fact, I may even cough more when I watch it.

Moving on to my marriage.

I got the mail out of the box on Saturday and on top was a handwritten, small, manilla envelope addressed to my husband. I love receiving mail so, of course, I was anxious to find out for him who it was from and what he got.

Want to know what was in it? An ad from a hotel in Texas.

Oh, but not just ANY ad.

It was a handwritten, nondescript note to my husband by name to visit the hotel with a website all WRITTEN ON A COCKTAIL NAPKIN.

Now, I'm in Season 2 of this show. The men on this show are anything but faithful.

All I had to do was look at my husband and he knew how my thoughts were reeling.

We looked up the website and saw all the ads and then we acknowledged the fact that this show is definitely affecting how I look at him. Probably in more ways than this one. (And I still want to contact the hotel about their scandalous ad campaign, although it worked since we went to the dumb website.)

Oh, Don, why must you be so awful but so great at the same time? And, Peggy, I love the success you've accomplished.

I just can't stop watching.

Our Germ-Filled Cookies

We are still sick in this house. Well, Claire and I are. MJ is just being her sweet self and is apparently having a growth spurt which is causing her to to take a long nap every afternoon and sleep 12-14 hours a night. Praise Jesus.

Claire has been on a baking kick which is fine by me because I love it. I learned quickly how to make this process fun for BOTH of us after we tried baking a disastrous batch of brownies together. The brownies weren't good and we were both mad.

Moving on.

NOW when we bake, we each have our own bowl. We each mix up our own ingredients. The difference: Claire's batter winds up all over the counter and floor and mine turns into something we eat in 18-20 minutes. :) We both have fun, and it's worth the clean-up in the end.

Last night she requested cookies and I just happened to have "pinned" a strawberry cake batter cookie recipe I figured she'd love- being pink and all. (it was just okay)

So while we DID make our own "batches" of cookies, with the amount of coughing happening, I won't be handing these cookies out to any healthy people.

Here are pictures, you can see how sick she is in her eyes. It was fun and a good distraction from feeling badly. Oh, and ignore the smoothie all over her face.

This last picture basically sums up why our baking method is 100% effective for a good time :)

Christmas 2011 in (a few) pictures

Claire checking out Santa's haul.

(And check out that mullet!)

Claire and MJ playing with Cookie Monster. He's a big hit :)

Claire was a little nervous about how he opens and closes his mouth but MJ was fearless.

The girls before Christmas Eve service.

My Mom made the dresses.

These girls make me laugh.

4 years in the Lou

We moved here FOUR years ago this week!

I seriously can't believe it.

I mean, it DOES makes sense when I think about the fact that we've had two kids and I got my License in Professional Counseling in Missouri.

But STILL.

I still miss my Georgia friends and Columbus Young Life so much. I wish we were closer especially now that we have the kiddos. I need to visit soon!

I really do like St. Louis a lot and am grateful for all our friends and church home. I feel very settled and am excited about staying here longer. I've been particularly excited lately as we have been beginning to plan for preschool. I love where we live so much and I'm still so happy with our house.

And did you know that Crestwood just won best city to live in in Missouri???

My source is my husband- but I promise he read that somewhere credible. :)

Fall was hard.

Fall was hard. Really hard.

I started working a bit more, not knowing that Jeremy would get another job, making our lives crazy. I'm pretty sure Jeremy was out of town for most of this past Fall. If he wasn't, it felt that way. And while I love my job, working some crazy hours and finding babysitters was stressful. And please don't hear me saying that I regret any of it, because I don't. I loved the work I got to do. It was just a hard mix of things that became the perfect storm for me in creating craziness and loneliness.

Okay, enough of the drama.

Here are the blessings from the storm:

*Jeremy's new job- praise God! It's a good fit for us.

*Friends who helped me not sink when it was entirely possible.

*Confidence that I really love my job and it's what I'm supposed to be doing.

*Renewed love of being a Mommy. That role in itself has been hard to adjust to.

*Renewed love of Bible study thanks to the Riverside women's study. Such a blessing. I'm going to continue attending that one and have committed to the Old Orchard study. So excited!

That's probably not all of it but those are the highlights.

I'm looking forward to this year. As cheesy as it is, I like that it feels like a new beginning. I'm so blessed to love my job and be with my kiddos so much.

My Baby Girl

Isn't she just the cutest?

This was at Miss Jill's house on MJ's first birthday.

Mary Jane turned one November 16, and that was also the day she started standing consistently. She has yet to walk without her toy stroller or train but she couldn't be more proud of her standing skills. Nor could we. She doesn't talk but she grunts and points at things. The girl's favorite activity might be eating. (which has been true since birth) She would eat a whole bag of clementines if I let her. MJ gets so excited when she even sees one. She worships her older sister and is still a Mama's girl. MJ has the most amazing belly laugh.

I mean, seriously, could she be any cuter?!

Sickness and distracted kids

Ugh. I woke up with a nasty cold today, on top of the yuckiness I've been feeling lately. While all I've wanted to do this morning is crawl back in bed, I've had the privilege of vegging on the couch while the girls played together. They are so stinkin' cute together right now. They rarely fight with each other and play together and independently next to each other well. Sure, Claire yanks things away from MJ but my littlest is learning to hold her own. I have a feeling this stage will be fleeting before full-on tackling, fighting, and shrieking will begin. But I'll take it now and count my blessings!!!

I'll leave you with some of my favorite Claire-isms right now:

*"Hi-yo, yittle MJ!"

*"Do you like that sound?" (After she purposefully makes any sort of noise. It's hilarious.)

*"I'm pink dark pink Angelina Ballerina, and you're Mama Mousling, and Daddy is Daddy Mousling." (I'm really not loving Angelina Ballerina but I do love to watch C dance.)

"MJJJJJJJJJJJJ!!!!"

"I'm cowboy Claire!" (Anytime she wears her cowboy boots.)

Back. And not just because it's the new year.

Yes, I decided to start blogging again for a couple reasons:

1. My husband said he likes my blog.

2. I realized over this season that quite a few out of town friends and family keep in touch with us over this blog.

3. For some reason, I felt like I was sucking at blogging but WHO CARES?! I'm just trying to keep a record of my family. It's not REALLY for y'all :)

And, no, this isn't a new year's resolution.

It just happened to coincide. Not that I have anything against resolutions. This just isn't one of mine.

If you want to know them, ask me when you see me next :)